Okay, fam, let’s get real for a minute. We all know how crazy this world can be—like, one minute, you’re vibing, watching TikToks, and the next, you’re deep in an existential crisis at 3 AM, wondering what the heck your life is even about. 💭 Don’t worry, you’re not alone. You’re on the journey, just like the rest of us, trying to make sense of things, finding some sort of direction, and, most importantly, figuring out EXACTLY who you are.
But let’s be honest, trying to figure out who you are in a world that wants to tell you who to be is HARD. That’s where personal values come in. If you don’t have your values on lock, then you’re basically drifting—in, like, the worst possible way. Defining what really matters to you helps you stay centered, guides your choices, and, most importantly, brings you the vibes that are authentically YOU. So, buckle up! Cause we’re about to dive deep into what personal values are, why they’re essential, and how you can go about defining yours.
Why Personal Values Matter More Than Ever
Ever tried to fit into a mold that just wasn’t made for you? Maybe you’ve tried being someone you’re not because society, family, or even social media influencers made you feel like that’s how you should be. But, honey, trying to be someone else is exhausting, and ultimately, it chips away at your happiness. The thing is, if you’re not living with your own values as your guiding star, then are you really living, or just existing?
Your personal values are like the North Star for your life, guiding all your decisions, big and small. When you clearly define these values, they become your compass—a go-to, foolproof way to steer through life’s chaos, BS, and all those curveballs it throws at you. With your values on point, you make decisions that align with who you are, not who others want you to be.
Let’s face it, we’re navigating an era that bombards us with info and opinions from every corner—especially online. It’s way too easy to lose yourself in the noise. 🌪️ When you’ve got your values locked in, though, the external chaos fades. You’re not as easily swayed by trends, opinions, or the latest "cancel culture" drama because you know who you are at your core. You can confidently say NO to the things that don’t vibe with you and an enthusiastic YES to the ones that do.
But here’s the kicker—personal values aren’t just about today or tomorrow. They’re the foundation for your entire life. They’ll evolve as you do, but their essential purpose remains the same: guiding you through life’s journey while keeping it 100% authentic. 🌱
But, Wait—What ARE Personal Values?
Alright, let’s break it down. Personal values are the core beliefs and principles that you’re most passionate about. They reflect what matters to you on a deep level and are essentially the GPS coordinates to get you where you want to go in life. Think of them as your personal code, something intangible but totally critical in shaping how you interact with the world.
Your values help define your purpose and bring meaning to your life. They also guide your behavior, choices, and responses. Now, remember, these aren’t just random words or hashtags you can toss around casually. These are deep, defining aspects of your inner self.
For instance, if one of your core values is "freedom," you’re likely someone who values independence, autonomy, and self-expression. You probably hate being confined—whether that’s being told what to do, how to dress, or how to think. On the flip side, if you value "family," you’re more inclined to prioritize close-knit connections and may often find yourself sacrificing other things for the people you love.
But note: Values aren’t one-size-fits-all. Each person has a different value system, and that’s what makes a rainbow 🌈 of diversity in human experiences. There’s no "right" or "wrong" value, just the ones that ring true to your soul.
How Can You Define Your Personal Values?
Now that you’re vibing over what values are and why they’re essential, it’s time to go deeper and figure out what YOUR personal values are. Yeah, we know this sounds pretty heavy, but trust us, the results are well worth it. Plus, identifying your values is low-key fun—you get to reflect on your life, your interests, and your feelings. Ready? Let’s go.
1. Think About What Gives You Energy 🌟
First up, ask yourself this: What activities, people, or experiences give you energy? What makes you feel ALIVE? These are the moments that light up your soul and feel almost effortless. They naturally make you lean in, mean more to you, and bring out the best in you. When you start mapping out what gives you that boost, you’ll usually uncover the values behind it.
For example, if volunteering at an animal shelter makes you feel fulfilled, your values might include "compassion," "service," or "generosity." If deep conversations about life, the universe, and everything make you light up, then "wisdom" or "intellectual growth" might be key values for you. Keep track of these moments and see if any patterns start to emerge. Boom—there you go! These are clues to your core values.
2. Look Back at the Hard Times
Sometimes, the moments that challenge us reveal the values that matter most to us. Think about the toughest times in your life—when you were tested or pushed to your limits. What kept you going? What line wouldn’t you cross even when things were bleak? Those, our friend, are your non-negotiables—your core values that you’re unwilling to compromise on, no matter what.
For instance, if you went through a toxic breakup and despite all the gaslighting and manipulation, one thing you never budged on was your "honesty," then you know that integrity is critical for you. Recognizing how you stood your ground helps to highlight what’s most sacred to you. These are the building blocks of your value system.
3. Identify Your Role Models
Who do you look up to and admire? Seriously, think about it. Role models often reflect the values we hold dear, or the values we strive to embody. Whether it’s a famous entrepreneur, a loving grandparent, or even a fictional character from your favorite movie—who do you want to emulate, and why?
Ask yourself: What is it about this person that I adore? What values do they represent? Is it their "creativity," "resilience," "authenticity," or maybe their "leadership"? Digging into this question can help bring clarity to your values list.
4. Ask the Right Questions ❓
Another handy way to identify your personal values is by asking yourself pointed questions—and being brutally honest with those answers. Some good starter questions include:
- What’s something I couldn’t live without?
- What do I spend most of my time thinking about or doing?
- What do I want others to say about me at my 90th birthday party?
- What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind?
Your answers to these deep-dive questions will guide you toward the values that truly matter to you. Don’t rush through this process. Take your time and really get in touch with what connects with your heart.
5. Reflect on Your Passions and Interests
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of your passions and interests in defining your values. What hobbies or activities do you love? What issues keep you up at night because you care so deeply? Our deepest passions are often tied directly to our core values.
If you often find yourself speaking out against social injustices, you might value "equality," "justice," or "fairness." If you’re an artist who spends hours perfecting your craft, "creativity" and "self-expression" could be on your list. Examining your passions is like getting a sneak peek into the value structure you adhere to, consciously or unconsciously.
The Power of Aligning With Your Personal Values
Okay, by now you should have a pretty solid understanding of what values mean, why they’re so crucial, and how to identify yours. But let’s talk about the real magic that happens when you fully align your life with your personal values.
When you live in sync with your values, life just flows. You feel more connected to yourself, more grounded in your decisions, and more confident about the path you’re on. Every choice you make—whether it’s as grand as choosing a career or as simple as deciding how to spend your Saturday—just feels RIGHT because it matches with what really matters to you.
Take a moment to notice how good it feels when your actions align with your inner self. Maybe you volunteered for a cause you’re passionate about, and it felt like time flew by. Or maybe you finally left a job that drained you because it wasn’t aligned with your passion for helping people. That feeling? It’s pure ALIGNMENT, with a capital A.
But here’s the key 🔑—your values need to be put into action. If you value "adventure," but you never step out of your comfort zone, you’re not aligning with your true self. If "family" is high on your list but you never make time for them, something’s gotta give! It’s about not just talking the talk but walking the walk.
How Living Out of Sync With Your Values Affects You
On the flip side, have you ever felt out of place, anxious, or frustrated but couldn’t quite figure out why? Chances are, you were living out of sync with your values. When your choices, actions, or environment don’t match up with your core beliefs, it creates a kind of inner conflict or dissonance that just feels, well, WRONG. It’s that unsettling, uncomfortable feeling that something is off—it zaps your energy, leaves you feeling drained, and can even lead to anxiety or depression.
Living in misalignment with your values can lead to decision-making paralysis. If your gut value is "freedom," but you’re stuck in a rigid 9-5 where you have no say over your work, it’s going to mess with your mental and emotional well-being. It’s kind of like trying to run in quicksand—you’re not getting anywhere, and it’s draining every ounce of energy you have.
The good thing is that the moment you recognize you’re out of sync, you can take steps to correct course. Identifying your values is crucial, but continuously checking in to make sure you’re living by them is equally important. When you know what’s wrong, you can fix it. That’s the power of being in tune with your values—they act as your emergency brake 🚨 when life gets a little too crazy, enabling you to re-center and align with your truth.
Cultivating a Value-Driven Life
Trust this: living a value-driven life is a straight-up game-changer. When you genuinely live by your values, your decisions become easier, life feels more meaningful, and you start attracting people and opportunities that vibe with who you really are. It’s like the universe starts conspiring to help you! 🌌
Think about your day-to-day life. Are your actions aligned with your values? The key is to make sure that you’re consistently embodying your values so that they’re reflected in your relationships, your work, and how you treat yourself.
For example, if one of your values is "honesty," it’s not just about telling the truth—it’s about being real with yourself and others, even when it’s difficult. If "adventure" is a core value for you, it’s about bold decisions, stepping out of your comfort zone regularly, and not letting fear hold you back. Living your values is a proactive practice, not a one-time discovery.
Embrace the Tension: It’s Part of the Process
Now, don’t get it twisted—living by your values is not always going to be a cakewalk. Sometimes your values might clash. You may find yourself torn between prioritizing something like "security" versus "freedom." Or maybe you’re wrestling with how to balance your value for "independence" with your love for "community." This is totally normal, and it’s part of the growth process.
When your values conflict, that’s just life testing you, making you reflect deeper on who you really are and what matters most at that moment. The tension you feel is a necessary part of evolving. The tough decisions you make through this process will shape your character even more, helping you to refine what your priorities are and what you’re willing to let go of. 🌱 Think of it as personal growth sculpting your life’s masterpiece.
The Ripple Effect of Living Your Values
Here’s some straight-up truth: when you start living authentically according to your values, others notice. Your vibe attracts your tribe, and let’s be real, aligning with your core self sets the tone for every other aspect of your life. It’s like the ripple effect—how you show up can inspire others to get in tune with their own values.
Your life becomes a magnet for like-minded people, collaborators, and opportunities that resonate with who you really are. You become more confident and sure of yourself, not because you “have it all together,” but because you’re living according to your truth. And that, my friend, is POWERFUL. So, don’t be surprised when you start seeing shifts in your relationships, lifestyle, and even career once you fully embrace your values.
A Real-Life Case Study: Values in Action
Now let’s get into some real-life vibes with a snippet of how this all plays out IRL. Meet Jay* (not their real name), a 24-year-old startup founder. Jay valued "innovation" and "authenticity" above all else but found themselves working in a job that was—put bluntly—sucking the life out of them. Grind culture, a focus on profits over purpose, and having to be "professional" (aka fake) 24/7 was taking a massive toll on their mental well-being.
Jay made a tough call: to bounce from a secure job and take a leap on a big idea they had for a company that focused on mental well-being. Though it was a tough road, the payoff was epic—a venture capital investment, a growing team of 10, and most importantly, waking up every day knowing they were 100% aligned with what mattered to them. Jay’s story highlights how commitment to personal values, even when it’s hella uncomfortable, can lead to massive positive shifts. 🚀
Surround Yourself With Value-Driven People
Finally, let’s talk squad. Surrounding yourself with people who share similar values elevates your life game. These are the folks who will keep you accountable, lift you up when you doubt yourself, and push you to be the best version of YOU. When your relationship—whether it’s friends, a bae, or even your work colleagues—aligns with your core values, your connections are deeper, more meaningful, and way more fulfilling.
In contrast, aligning with people who don’t share your values can lead to tension, discomfort, and sometimes, toxic dynamics. Trust, you don’t want to end up feeling like you’re constantly being pulled in a direction that doesn’t feel right. It’s essential to be mindful of who you’re sharing your energy with.
Let’s list out some 🔑 things to look for in value-driven friendships:
- Shared Integrity: You’re both people of your word. Trust is the bedrock.
- Mutual Respect: They respect your values and vice-versa; there’s no need to downplay who you are.
- Common Interest: You naturally gravitate toward similar activities, projects, or missions.
- Supportive Energy: They hype you up, call you out when you’re slipping, and have your back through thick and thin.
- Aligned Goals: You both can talk about the future knowing your paths aren’t totally different.
When you find these elements in your squad, you’ll notice the vibes are unmatched. Real talk, aligning with value-driven people makes life a whole lot richer. 🌟
Constantly Evolving: Your Values Aren’t Static
Let’s talk about growth, because if there’s one thing we know about Gen-Z, it’s that we don’t stay stagnant. Your values will evolve as you do, and that’s totally cool. You’re going to change over time as your experiences, knowledge, and goals evolve. What mattered to you deeply at 16 might not be as crucial at 25, and that’s normal.
The key here is to keep checking in with yourself regularly. Life’s going to throw you curveballs, and as you grow, some values may need to be reassessed or even replaced. The aim is not to hold on rigidly but to stay in tune with how you’re feeling and what you’re resonating with at every phase of your life.
Check in with your values during key life changes—graduations, job changes, new relationships, or even in moments of crisis. It’s in these phases that you can really see which of your values are non-negotiable and which ones are shifting. Your values are the evolving framework through which you build your best life, so keep them current and don’t be afraid to make tweaks along the way.
Implementing Your Values in Daily Life: A Practical Guide
Okay, so you’ve figured out your core values. Now what? Time to talk about some practical ways to integrate those values into your daily life because, honestly, what’s the point of knowing your values if you don’t live them out?
1. Make Them Visible 📝
Start by writing down your core values. Like, actually make a list that you can see every day. Stick it on your bathroom mirror, use it as your phone wallpaper, or create a funky graphic and put it on your desk. The more you see your values, the more you’ll subconsciously align your actions with them.
2. Set Value-Based Goals 🌟
Goals are essential, but let’s take that up a notch by ensuring your goals are rooted in your values. If "well-being" is a core value, don’t just set generic health goals. Be specific: aim to meditate daily, take up yoga, or seek a balance between work and rest. Ensure every goal syncs with the values you’ve identified for a more purposeful, satisfying experience.
3. Use Them as Decision-Making Filters
Whenever you’re faced with a tough decision, filter that choice through your values. Like, ask yourself: "Does this decision align with my top values?" If your decision goes against your core, it’s a red flag. This method helps you stay true to yourself, even when the world or other people are pushing you in another direction.
4. Communicate Your Values
Don’t just keep your values locked up inside. Share them! Whether you’re having heart-to-hearts with friends, setting boundaries at work, or developing relationships, let people know where you stand. Communication prevents misunderstandings and ensures that your vibe is being respected.
5. Reflect Regularly
End your day with a quick reflection. Ask yourself: Did I live according to my values today? If not, why? Take note of where you steered off course and think about how to bring your actions back to center the next day. Regular reflection strengthens your commitment and helps you tweak your actions, so they’re in total harmony with who you are.
Putting these strategies in action isn’t just about self-improvement; it’s about living a life that feels right to you. It might be a work in progress, but persist, and soon it’ll become second-nature.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q1: What if my values clash with someone I’m close to?
Conflict in values between you and someone you’re close with can be tough. But rather than seeing it as a deal-breaker, look for a middle ground. Communication is key—talk it out and see if you can mutually respect each other’s values even if they’re different. Sometimes, even with differences, shared respect and understanding can bridge the gap.
Q2: How do I know if I’m truly living my values?
The ultimate test is how you feel daily. If you’re consistently feeling fulfilled, grounded, and at peace, you’re likely living in alignment with your values. On the flip side, if you’re often stressed, frustrated, or conflicted, those are signals that you might be out of sync and needing a values-check. Tune in to how you feel as a guide.
Q3: Can values change over time?
Absolutely. Your values can evolve as you go through different stages and experiences in life. Change can come naturally as your understanding of yourself and the world grows. Stay open to re-evaluating what matters to you and don’t be scared to let go of values that no longer serve you.
Q4: How many values should I have?
You don’t need a long list—quality over quantity all the way! Aim to identify 3-5 core values. These are the big-hitters that resonate most deeply with you. Having too many can dilute the impact, while too few might not fully capture who you are. Find that sweet spot.
Q5: What if I’m struggling to identify my values?
Don’t freak out if finding your core values isn’t happening overnight. Reflect on your life experiences, analyze people you admire, and ask yourself deep questions as discussed earlier. Sometimes, journaling or even meditation can bring clarity. It’s a process, not a sprint. Give it time and don’t rush it.
Parting Words: Keep it Authentic, Keep it Real
Your personal values are like the ultimate roadmap for navigating this crazy world. They help define who you are, where you’re going, and how to get there while staying true to yourself. The journey of discovering and living by your values is ongoing, but every step will take you closer to living a life that feels radically authentic and fulfilling. So, take that inner work seriously, make your values non-negotiable, and watch your life soar when you begin to live in total alignment with the essence of YOU. 🎉
Sources & References
- Schwartz, S. H. (2012). An Overview of the Schwartz Theory of Basic Values. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture.
- Rokeach, M. (2000). Understanding Human Values.
- Maslow, A. H. (1943). A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review.
- Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
- Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection.
Boom! That’s it. You’re ready to define, refine, and LIVE out your personal values. Now go out there and be your most authentic self! 💪
